10 tips on how not learn a language

Are you tired of learning a language? Tired of the same advice about language learning?

Don’t worry, I have the solution!


  1. Study only grammar

Why waste your time talking, listening, reading the language when you can just study grammar? Study only grammar and you will, probably, have more knowledge of the language grammatical structures than any native speaker will! And, who doesn’t want to know more than a native?

  1. Do never speak!

Speaking is overrated! You don’t need to open your mouth to learn a language! Just read books that show your erudition and how deep is your knowledge of the literature classics.

  1. Do never listen!

Listening for what? After all, your goal is to speak and training your listening comprehension has nothing to do with it! What matters is to express yourself! You didn’t understand what someone said? No problem, because it doesn’t matter! The important thing is you and what you have to say! Simply answer what you want and change the focus to yourself!

  1. Do never change methods

You are using the same method for a year, at the same school for a year and still can’t say something basic for 1 minute? Do not worry, just keep it up! Wait a few more years and you will see extraordinary results. After just a few years, you’ll be able to express yourself for a few minutes in the language!

  1. Wait to speak perfectly

Is making mistakes that you learn? Nonsense, if you want to speak a foreign language, wait until you understand everything perfectly. Remember that everybody is going to judge your imperfections. The important thing is not to communicate, but to speak perfectly, like a native. To err is not human; it’s just a sign that you are a lazy and a loser!

  1. Don’t have a plan

Plans and objectives are for boring old people! You don’t need them! Simply start learning erratically, change of school every 3 months, and try all available methods. The process will take some time, but don’t worry, you will end up learning!

Female hand holding a pen and writing a plan in a planner

  1. Be afraid!

Fear is a sign that something is wrong, so run! Are you afraid to speak? Sign that you should not! Are you scared that you won’t pass the test? Another sign of the universe, so just don’t try it! The world is a dangerous and scary place and to live in fear is totally justified!

  1. Culture is BS!

You want to learn the language, not the culture! The important thing is to express yourself, to send a message. It doesn’t matter, if others consider you rude! The important thing is that you can speak the language. Forget the rules of courtesy, good manners! Forget their history, because is not your story, is not your country. Disrespect their religion, because their God is wrong! Your culture is superior, theirs is primitive and they should be grateful that you took the time to learn their language!

  1. Translate word by word

If you want to learn a language well, you will have to know the specific meaning of each word with which you come across! Always walk with a dictionary and use it every time you find an unknown word. Try to conceive the exact meaning of every word of every text, every word! Learning by context, it is an excuse for lazy people! The only way to understand a sentence, written or spoken, is understood all the words in a systematic way.

  1. Take it seriously!

Don’t enjoy learning a language! The process is not to be fun. If you are not suffering, it is because you’re not doing it right! Studying is an obligation and it shouldn’t be fun. Study for hours without human contact, forget your hobbies and dedicate yourself day and night to learning.

Do not forget to take this article very seriously and you’ll be on your way to not learn a language!

About Nathalia

Polyglot Nerd creator, love foreign cultures and learning languages. Speak: English, Portuguese and Spanish. Learning: French
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